Introduction to Conflict: How Disagreements Take Shape
A conflict in mediation typically starts with a description of how the parties arrived at mediation and what they hope to achieve. A party’s position emerges through what they ask for and how they describe the conflict. It’s the firm stance they take, usually based on a win-lose mindset.
Positions, and our behaviors, are driven by underlying needs and interests. Mediation helps parties become aware of these needs and interests, enabling them to explore mutually beneficial solutions. While needs and interests are always present in conflict, we’re not always conscious of them. They’re often closely tied to our emotions. In this two-part blog, we will explore how conflict evolves and resolves. Let’s look at an example to see how this works.
Example Workplace Conflict: Sam & Alex
Sam and Alex are coworkers and manage different teams that often collaborate on projects. Alex asked Sam for help in preparing a report on their projects for an internal Quarterly Business Review (QBR) with management.
Two days before the QBR, Alex met with Sam to review the report. Sam, overwhelmed with work, had forgotten the report was for the QBR and only had a draft ready. The draft contained placeholder data that Sam wanted to verify with Alex, but Alex was angry that Sam hadn’t prioritized the report and abruptly ended the meeting. Sam messaged Alex afterward, saying they had more important things to do and that Alex should be more grateful for the help.
Running out of time, Alex used Sam’s draft in the final report. During the QBR, Alex was scrutinized for the unverified data and publicly blamed Sam. Now, Sam and Alex aren’t speaking, and tension between their teams has grown. Gossip has spread, and collaboration between the teams has ceased. As a result, productivity and morale have plummeted.
Sam and Alex: The Conflicting Positions
Sam’s Position
Alex is too demanding and abrasive and should be moved to a different team as an individual contributor. Sam believes Alex doesn’t deserve a leadership role and wants Alex’s projects reassigned to another co-worker’s team. Sam also wants Alex transferred to another department so they never have to work together again. However, this does not address Sam’s current workload or personal stressors and Sam worries they will be seen as untrustworthy for causing a peer’s demotion if this happens.
Alex’s Position
Sam is unreliable and untrustworthy, and shouldn’t be a manager. Alex wants all joint projects reassigned to Alex’s team, hoping this will boost their status in the organization and damage Sam’s reputation. However, Alex knows their team produces better work with Sam’s team involved and they are nervous about the workload if their request is honored.
Both parties have escalated the conflict to upper management, leading them to mediation. In the next blog post, we’ll explore what happens during mediation.
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