October Reflections: A Moment that Captured Dignity

Earlier this month, I attended the first-ever Dignity Leadership Summit, a gathering of people exploring what it means to lead, work, and live with dignity at the center.

Before the Dignity Conference even began, I found myself sitting at a round table where three small groups were each in their own conversations. My partner and I started talking with Harry Bonner, the husband of the leader of the Unity Gospel Choir, which was set to perform the next day.

We quickly found a shared connection. Harry and his family are from Flint, Michigan, the same hometown as my partner (and not far from mine). He spoke about Flint with such warmth and pride, about its spirit, resilience, and the friendliness that keeps people rooted there despite everything they’ve been through.

At one point, someone stopped by the table to coordinate details for the choir’s upcoming performance. While they chatted, I turned to another small group nearby and started a new conversation. By the time the discussion wrapped up, everyone at the table was talking together.

A few minutes later, Harry turned to me and said, “I want to give you a compliment. Look what you’ve done, you got us all talking together.”

I laughed and said, “I did?”

He nodded and said, “You were the catalyst.”

I’ve thought about that moment since. I’ve always invited people into conversation through my curiosity: in high school, sitting with new Spanish-speaking students at lunch; in law school, finding the quiet people at networking events; in workplaces, bringing together voices that might not otherwise meet. It’s not about being outgoing. It’s about wanting everyone to feel like they belong in the conversation.

Reflections from the Dignity Leadership Summit

The Dignity Leadership Summit itself was full of moments that deepened that same theme of connection.

I met Tim Shriver the night before it all began when he sat down at the same table where I was talking with Harry Bonner. In person he was everything you’d hope for in a leader: warm, kind, and genuinely interested in the people around him.

One of the highlights was hearing Dr. Donna Hicks speak. She talked about how practicing dignity helps us strengthen three essential forms of connection: with ourselves, with others, and with something greater than ourselves. That last one is why I do this work. Dignity is what allows us to reach that deeper sense of connection and meaning beyond oursleves.

Later, during a session on The Dignity Index, I was reminded that the tool is meant to be a mirror, not a scorecard. It's not about getting the right number or judging someone else's tone. It helps us examine the language and context around our speech so we can spot contempt in ourselves and stop contributing to the culture of contempt.

At the end of the event, I spoke with a group of conservative women who had come because they wanted to make sure the Index was not “gaslighting” their side. I went up to ask how they felt about it afterward. They said they had enjoyed it, and while they had some thoughtful critiques, what stood out was how much they valued open dialogue and the protection of free speech that allows for honest disagreement.

That conversation summed up the whole experience for me. Dignity is not about avoiding difference. It is about creating space where people can bring their full selves, speak freely, and still stay in dialogue.

The Mutual Conflict Map

Before the Summit, I had already been developing something new. Over the past few months, several people reached out asking for mediation with a business partner, but the other person wasn’t ready or willing to join. That pattern kept repeating, and it made something clear: both sides might need help making sense of the conflict before they can even start a conversation.

The Mutual Conflict Map grew out of that need. It is a guided process that helps you turn conflict into clarity and chart your own path forward.

It is for:

• Business partners and leadership teams who feel stuck or misaligned

• Managers and individual professionals preparing for an important conversation

• Family businesses balancing relationships, ownership, and change

If you sense tension, stalled decisions, or growing reactivity, the Map helps you name what matters and move forward.You’ll leave with a personalized Mutual Conflict Map — a structured guide you can use to stay grounded and navigate your next steps.

Get your map

October Highlights

Workshop Highlight: Beyond Logic: Making Sense of Conflict

This month I joined Laura Comilla of Greatness Retreats for her monthly virtual leadership development workshop series. I led a session called Beyond Logic: Making Sense of Conflict. We looked at how conflict is rarely just about the issue itself. It’s about the emotions, needs, and boundaries underneath.

Participants explored how different response styles (constructive or destructive, active or passive) shape outcomes, and how naming what we do and don’t want in conflict brings clarity and understanding. We also introduced the 10 Elements of Dignity and the 10 Temptations to Violate It—the subtle ways we can lose sight of our own dignity when we’re triggered.

One participant shared that the dignity perspective really unlocked the way they understand conflict.

If you’d like to see the presentation or request the recording, just reply to this email and I’ll send it your way. You can check out the Key Takeaways below.

New on The Groundwork Blog:

• Mapping Conflict Before It Costs More — How to slow down, see the terrain, and avoid “We need to talk” moments that backfire.

• How to Lead Inclusive Meetings — 11 Practical tips to reduce friction and create space for better ideas.

In Case You Missed It:

• What's the Difference Between Dignity and Respect? — How understanding this distinction changes how teams repair trust.

The Dignity Summit reminded me that even small moments of curiosity and care can shift an entire conversation.

If your team or partnership is ready to move from tension to clarity, let’s talk.

Warmly,

Katie